Re-entering the Matrix

I get the opportunity every so often to leave my normal everyday surroundings and experience something else for a little while. Most recently it was the Passion '06 worship conference in Nashville, TN. When I left, I could tell that I was tired from the grind of life in ministry...the challenge (albeit a rewarding one) of everything being a work in progress, especially myself. But there is something refreshing and life-giving about being around 18,000 people singing at the top of their lungs in a packed arena, worshiping God, which is exactly what I got to experience this last week. And while away at an event like this, I have time for a variety of things to pass through my mind, and certain things always do. I always seem to explore in my mind what else I could be doing instead of my current vocation. Am I really in the right spot? Why am I in ministry when I could make a whole lot more money doing something else? After all, I do have a degree in computer science. And couldn't I do just as much minstry or more in a workplace full of people who don't know Jesus? Why don't I pursue songwriting and touring as a worship leader? There's plenty of bad musicians who have gotten lucky. Do I really have to go back already?

Then something inevitably happens. My time away ends and I have to re-enter the matrix of my normal life. This time I re-entered church ministry life at 8 o'clock AM on SATURDAY morning for a leadership meeting (after getting home at 8pm the night before) . And at about 8:15am on Saturday morning I noticed something that I seem to notice every time I return to my church community after being away. This is where I am supposed to be! Despite all the questions that I ask while I'm away, this epiphany always strikes me anew upon my return...that this is my home...my community...where I belong. I suppose that it is possible that one day this will not be the case, but for now I am home, refreshed and back to serving the community that God has blessed me with. I'll get to some of those other questions later...especially the songwriting one.